she’s DEFINITELY not invited to shabbat next year.
vindictive jew
stuffing your face at the rat, rocking out at the boot, or just walking to class, chances are someone near you is saying, wearing, or doing something ridiculous.
let us revere them.
she’s DEFINITELY not invited to shabbat next year.
WAIT. THIS IS GIBSON.
| flight attendant: | ...first secure the mask over yourself before assisting those around you. |
|---|---|
| children: | <screaming> |
| flight attendant (in aisle): | did you understand that, ma'am? first you'll put your mask on, and then you'll pick your favorite child. *looks at kids* you know...the quieter one. |
| children: | <silent> |
| guy 1: | i am going to break into your house while you sleep and chop your dick off and reattach it to your face, connected to a vein so you will forever have a throbbing hard-on and be known as "king cock." |
|---|---|
| guy 2: | yeah well if you do that, i will break into your house while you are sleeping, and you will wake up to me skull-fucking you with my chin-dick. |
| bruff worker 1: | you don't act your age; you act your shoe size. |
|---|---|
| bruff worker 2: | no i don't. i act my penis size. |
| bruff worker 1: | what's your penis size? |
| bruff worker 2: | 10. i know you're thinking about it now. |
none of the coffee places here put lids on your coffee cups; they expect you to do it yourself.
uptown ladies don’t like orgies. too many thank you notes.
i’ve probably taken enough adderall to kill a small african village.
i’ve accidentally done ketamine…like five or six times.
we all know germany’s contribution to world culture will be buying greece and turning it into a museum.
if a penis comes out, and i want to touch it, i’ll touch it.
don’t use the atm at the palms; i peed on it last night.
if any of you could get your hands on a child’s skeleton and bring it to me, i would really appreciate it…legally, of course.
no one’s ever been bitten by a sternum.
so is an enchilada a kind of salad?
